A junior government minister took The Man aside last week for a ‘mutually beneficial’ chat about how best to exploit the latter’s many and varied back-channel corporate connections.
The problem we have, he said, is that most MPs have no idea how to run a corner shop, never mind the ‘business of government’, so we need all the help we can get to kick the economy into shape.
As a newly-minted backdoor National List member of parliament, The Man is still feeling his way in the corridors of power. So he welcomed this opportunity to further his political ambitions.
But as it turned out, the junior minister was only acting as a go-between for a senior minister who was reluctant to show his hand without some positive assurances.
We need to know, the junior said, if you want a career in politics. Do you want to succeed, and to have our help climbing the ladder? Do you fully understand what that would involve?
Reassured by affirmatives, he then asked if The Man would be interested in a chat with the senior minister himself at a convenient time and place in the next few days. The Man would.
In the meantime, he met with the banker buddy to discuss this not entirely unexpected development. After all, he said, the National List is at least notionally there to bring outside expertise into government.
And having run the illicit CatAstrophe asset-relocation fund for many years, he added, I also know better than anyone the various peccadillos of today’s ‘deep state’ movers and shakers.
Which must be what this is all about, said the banker buddy. They want to know whether you’ll be a loose cannon, or if you’ll keep your mouth shut and toe the government line. Whether you’d be an asset or a liability, a help or a hindrance to the new regime.
So yesterday he met with said senior minister in a back room at a discreet upmarket hotel 30 minutes from Colombo. It was an interesting and illuminating conversation.
Starting with smiles, warm handshakes and bonhomie, things quickly got down to business. So, said the minister, with your, er, chequered history we can’t afford to publicly embrace you. But we need your help.
First, we have pledged to root out corruption. No offence, but that’s something you know more about than most from personal experience. It won’t amount to much, but we must be seen to be trying.
Second, with your reputation for hard-nosed, single-minded ruthlessness, you would make an ideal government whip, one who would come down without mercy on anyone who even threatens to rock the boat.
Third, the above applies to the corporate elites who underpin the economy, those cabals of shifty mafia businessmen who can make or break governments. They must be brought to heel.
Last but not least, by force, stealth or flattery you could ensure that everyone in government, elected or appointed, properly understands that in these difficult times, together we stand or divided we fall!
In short, he said, we want you on side. You’ve got 24 hours to think it over.
Just as I thought, said the banker buddy later. They’re sounding you out, but for what, exactly? Meanwhile, do you really want to throw in your lot with a bunch of lacklustre ne’er-do-wells who couldn’t organize a piss-up in a brewery? What would be in it for you..?
To be continued.